And the Nominees Are…
Winning awards is easy. Name an award. An Oscar for best picture, you say? If you want to be taken seriously, you’ve got to give your movie a one word title. Titanic, Gladiator, Braveheart and Chicago all did it. Nominees like Traffic, Babel and Chocolat all had the right idea. If you want people to see your film as important, get Paul Haggis to write horribly memorable lines like “Girlie, tough ain’t enough” from Million Dollar Baby, or “I’m the fucking district attorney of Los Angeles” from Crash. If that doesn’t work, you can base your film on an already critically acclaimed novel like No Country for Old Men … or Ghost.
You want to win a Grammy? That’s even easier. Become an established musician, do some groundbreaking work, then wait 25-ish years and release a boring, derivative, acoustic guitar-oriented record.
Year after year, it seems that Grammy nominations get more and more irrelevant. If it isn’t a shitty Paul McCartney album, it’s the Pussycat Dolls. All in all, it’s a very bizarre situation.
This year, however, there are actually nominees that deserve nominations. I wouldn’t say In Rainbows by Radiohead was the best album of the year, but it’s much better than Viva La Vida by Coldplay (both nominees). And even though Robert Plant and Allison Krauss will probably win “Best Album” for Raising Sand, it’s good to see Li’l Wayne up there.
I am also very appreciative that the artists nominated for “Best New Artist,” Duffy and Lady Antebellum among others, are actually new artists. I am still baffled by Fountains of Wayne’s nomination after “Stacy’s Mom” came out, and that the Grammy folks thought Modest Mouse was a breakout group after Good News for People Who Love Bad News dropped.
The only category that truly made me scratch my head was “Best Alternative Album.” It is like they decided the nominees by looking at Paste magazine covers. Evil Urges by My Morning Jacket? Seriously, that was not a good album and no one can tell me otherwise. Also, how is that alternative and not rock? There are two separate categories, but with the exception of Gnarls Barkley’s The Odd Couple the nominees are totally indistinguishable.
Why is In Rainbows under “Best Alternative” and Viva La Vida under “Best Rock?” That Coldplay album sounds like the band is playing Radiohead in an underfunded biopic. What makes Death Cab for Cutie so alternative, anyway? Kings of Leon made just as boring of a record as Death Cab and both bands use crunchy guitars and plenty of reverb, yet one is rock and one is alt.
Check out the nominees yourself. See anyone you think really deserves the award they are nominated for? Sure, The Grammy Awards are just a good way to take up some time on network television, but let me tell you the night will not be nominated for my “Best Awards Show” award. At least we can agree that “Sexual Eruption” by Snoop Dogg truly was the best rap song of the year.
“If you don’t know by now, Doggy Dogg is a freak.”
2 comments
rob mccolley
the 25 year approach requires, as you say, actual musical accomplishment.
why not go for the quick fix, and be loosely involved with something that sells a lot?
the grammy academy is like a bunch of 13 year-old kids. they want to be able to hang out with whoever’s popular. they want to not offend whoever’s got the mojo.
they probably hate the winners, but they vote for them. and then grumble about it to their BFFs.
perhaps all awards contests are puerile. any industry’s need to pat itself on the back has more to do with the marketing wing than the creative wing.
the grammys just happen to be the worst.
Pat
Hey, can we keep bitching about The Oscars?
Based on your formula, I bet Changeling wins it all this year. One-word title, memorable lines (“GIVE ME BACK MY SON” or “I’M NOT CRAZY” or something like that), a bankable star with delusions of artistry . . . it got everything right. Though the reviews weren’t as kind as they should have been. Popular critics are usually suckers for that formula.
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Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.
*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…
Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet. John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…
What? Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?
That article almost looks like something out of The Onion
Thanks! I’m looking forward to writing even more….
Yay! Love this! Welcome to the family!
that last photo’s a doozie, Chris. good work.
that city center house show was one of those life-affirming things.
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I also got to visit Big Grove Tavern during the soft open and definitely enjoyed the pork belly the most of all the dishes I sampled. The cheesy grits and the vinegary pickled vegetables were a perfect compliment to the rich pork belly.
The Alan Partridge lookalike on the right in the first small photo has nothing to condescend to anyone about. AH HA!
Snell and the little Hitlers of the neighborhood association need to chill out. Legitimate businesses should have the freedom to exist without having to endure the slings and arrows of ignorant and misguided opposition.
represent, Matt.
Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.
Food trucks are the start-up, small businesses of the future for those unable to afford real estate. No surprise, that merchants who pay rent, utilities, and maintenance on a property would despise the traveling competition. Or developers who build more empty retail spaces would want to close…
Not so much far-right Tea Party as a balanced, moderate viewpoint between letting businesses succeed and protecting society with reasonable regulations. In spite of what the city reps are saying, the interpretation of policy on this issue certainly has changed. Letting a business start up under one…
I think it’s neat that SP has turned rightward, now espousing a Tea Party-style frustration with government regulations & taxes.
This makes me so sad. (Happy to live in Urbana, though!) Crave Truck has been a GREAT addition to the food choices in C-U, and it’d be a travesty to chase them away. This town should be supporting small businesses. I’m glad to hear that they’ll still…
*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…
Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet. John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…
What? Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?
This weekend will mark the first appearance of Kayla Brown’s Fire Doll Candle booth at the Market. Check it: http://www.facebook.com/firedollcandles
And without bloodshed. Sounds like the Savoy trustees aren’t as narrow-minded as some of their whiny pants constituents. Do you think quack Snell is already planning an asinine counterattack or is he still laying low after those “threats” against his person?
hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.
Okay, almost 24 hours later and I finally got Issac’s Summer joke. I’m an idiot.
Excellent. I am glad sometimes American dreams are encouraged, rather than stifled.
Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.
funny, as your summer begins, another Summer ends.
@Dan - Wow. Unfortunately, I have to refrain from further comment due to a previous employment relationship. But with that brief context you might be able to imagine possible comments or responses I could have.
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represent, Matt.