Bubble City Meets Cloud City
When I was a kid, I loved Star Wars. I had pretty much every collectible known to man. I had the movies, the soundtracks on vinyl, the action figures, bed sheets, curtains, talking Ewoks…all of it. My first word as a baby was “Yoda.” I had a severe mental complex that had me thinking that I was actually Luke Skywalker bulls-eying womp rats on Tatooine for much of my childhood. I lived and breathed Star Wars.
I eventually grew out of my SW phase and moved on to more sophisticated movies like The Wizard and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but every now and then, my brain will snap and I’ll see the world in Star Wars vision again. This week, I took a hard look at the Champaign-Urbana local music scene and made stunning comparisons of people in our local universe to people in the galaxy far, far away.
1. Larry Gates / Master Yoda
Yoda was one of the most respected and revered Jedi in the galaxy; Larry Gates is one of the most respected and revered musicians our town has witnessed. Just like Yoda, he saw the fall of the local music scene on Green St., but returned as an unstoppable force to bring people back to downtown Champaign.
2. Krukid / Boba Fett
If you’ve never performed alongside, opened for or headlined Krukid, then you’re not a real musician. Like the most infamous bounty hunter of all time, Krukid has rubbed shoulders with almost anyone local who has talent.
3. Todd Hunter / C-3PO
Threepio is fluent in six million forms of communication. Todd Hunter is as fluent in local music trivia. For years, Todd has interviewed countless artists and has seen more local music shows than anyone. Still, no one knows what this guy does for a living.
4. Dave Dickey / Droopy McCool
Dave and Droopy actually both played for Jabba once.
5. Matt Harshbarger / Jabba the Hutt
Harsh, a business man, promoter, gangster and emcee. Jabba, a businessman, promoter a gangster and emcee. They’ve gotta be related.
6. John Hoeffleur / Han Solo
Han never wanted to be a hero, but always seems to find himself in the weirdest of situations. Just like Han, John never wanted to be known as a one of the kings of the scene. This rebel scum just wanted to smuggle his spice all day.
7. Tom Grassman / Chewbacca
Seriously, this guy has got a lot of hair.
8. Ward Gollings / Darth Vader
Feared across the city and being known for ending music careers, Darth Ward rules the local music scene with a dark hand.
9. Brandon T. Washington / Mace Windu
Well, it’s Brandon T. Washington! I mean come on!
10. Michael “Guido” Esteves / Greedo
Not because their names sound similar, but because we’re told by many women that he always “shoots first.”
11. Illini Media Company / The Galactic Empire
Let’s face it. They control what we hear, what we read, what we see and even what think. They own you, everything that you own and this town—until the Rebel Alliance forms.
8 comments
Han Solo
Who you calling scruffy-looking?
Self-serving but I like this - very, very much. Good one Nate.
Han again
Meaning it serves me so of course I like it - a great compliment to be cast as Han.
Mike Ingram
mundaywas
That is…weird. We just think alike…Mike.
bozak
please to make follow up article with more comparisons.
princess leah
jabas right had man (bib fortuna?)
jabas little pet
lando calrisian (my favorite)
mon mothma
admiral akbar
the dude with three eyes, ree-yees
that big ass monster that luke killed
the sarlack pit
liz
man that was alright. i mean, slightly one sided, and the harsh metaphor was fucking harsh. and really do you need to be boosting john hoeffleur’s ego like that, seriously???
jabba the harsh
[url=“http://a799.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/94/l_66114d7a6f0f0058f565bb3b9e2b2dce.jpg”]
forgot an important one[/url]
http://openid.aol.com/LucidLibra
Bahahahahaaaa!!!
Nice, Nate. Honestly, if someone can’t find the humor in all of this, then they really need to lighten the hell up.
Kudos to Nate for making this one good, kudos to the musicians that can recognize the humor in this, and last but certainly not least, kudos to harsh for the comparison on Nate Jones. Word.
Most Recent Music Comments
Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.
*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…
Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet. John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…
What? Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?
That article almost looks like something out of The Onion
Thanks! I’m looking forward to writing even more….
Yay! Love this! Welcome to the family!
that last photo’s a doozie, Chris. good work.
that city center house show was one of those life-affirming things.
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Most Recent Comments
I also got to visit Big Grove Tavern during the soft open and definitely enjoyed the pork belly the most of all the dishes I sampled. The cheesy grits and the vinegary pickled vegetables were a perfect compliment to the rich pork belly.
The Alan Partridge lookalike on the right in the first small photo has nothing to condescend to anyone about. AH HA!
Snell and the little Hitlers of the neighborhood association need to chill out. Legitimate businesses should have the freedom to exist without having to endure the slings and arrows of ignorant and misguided opposition.
represent, Matt.
Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.
Food trucks are the start-up, small businesses of the future for those unable to afford real estate. No surprise, that merchants who pay rent, utilities, and maintenance on a property would despise the traveling competition. Or developers who build more empty retail spaces would want to close…
Not so much far-right Tea Party as a balanced, moderate viewpoint between letting businesses succeed and protecting society with reasonable regulations. In spite of what the city reps are saying, the interpretation of policy on this issue certainly has changed. Letting a business start up under one…
I think it’s neat that SP has turned rightward, now espousing a Tea Party-style frustration with government regulations & taxes.
This makes me so sad. (Happy to live in Urbana, though!) Crave Truck has been a GREAT addition to the food choices in C-U, and it’d be a travesty to chase them away. This town should be supporting small businesses. I’m glad to hear that they’ll still…
*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…
Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet. John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…
What? Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?
This weekend will mark the first appearance of Kayla Brown’s Fire Doll Candle booth at the Market. Check it: http://www.facebook.com/firedollcandles
And without bloodshed. Sounds like the Savoy trustees aren’t as narrow-minded as some of their whiny pants constituents. Do you think quack Snell is already planning an asinine counterattack or is he still laying low after those “threats” against his person?
hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.
Okay, almost 24 hours later and I finally got Issac’s Summer joke. I’m an idiot.
Excellent. I am glad sometimes American dreams are encouraged, rather than stifled.
Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.
funny, as your summer begins, another Summer ends.
@Dan - Wow. Unfortunately, I have to refrain from further comment due to a previous employment relationship. But with that brief context you might be able to imagine possible comments or responses I could have.
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represent, Matt.