iconLog In  |  Register

Stalker Notebooks: Axl Rose

Posted in MUSIC to Stalker Notebooks by Chris Wiberg on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at 3:00 pm

axl_rose2.jpg
Axl Rose is the front man and sole remaining original member of Guns N’ Roses. GNR’s last new album of original material came out in 1991.

Bob Higgins is a thirty-seven-year-old former bank teller from Los Angeles. He has been stalking Mr. Rose full-time since 2003, and before that part-time since 1998.

March 14, 2008

9:13 AM: Am late again. Shoot! Can only assume that dogs have already been out for morning run, as handler’s car is nowhere to be seen and several dead fowl are visible near edges of courtyard. Should not have started watching Empty Nest marathon last night. Will await cleanup crew’s van and maybe have a donut.

10:01 AM: A.R. appears briefly at 3rd floor window, east wing. Shirtless, sprinkles what look like depilated red chest hairs down over tiger lilies. Retreats from window. Moments later reappears, drops first(?) feces of the day, again into tiger lilies. Sniffs air. Retreats from window again.

11:30 AM: BMW drives up to gate. Suit-type — possibly from record company — gets out, prostrates self before security camera. Gate opens, then closes several times as though taunting, then opens. Suit-type drives across moat and enters home. Car driven to parking garage by bunnymen.

11:40 AM: Buckethead arrives for afternoon duties.

11:50 AM: Buckethead looks in my direction. Sees me? Must temporarily retreat to outer perimeter/reptile house.

12:55 PM: Iguanas staring at me. Know my secrets?

2:17 PM: Record company man appears briefly at 2nd floor window, front. Looks frantic. Appears to be pulled back in.

2:22 PM: A.R. appears at 2nd floor window, front. Tosses second(?) feces of the day. Possibly from R.C. man.

3:06 PM: Dolphin truck arrives. Buckethead meets it, angry that it is six minutes late. Dolphin peers out from tank. Sees me? Buckethead inspects dolphin, summons bunnymen. Bunnymen escort dolphin truck to rear of estate.

4:16 PM: R.C. man emerges, weeping.

5:05 PM: Handler arrives for dogs’ evening run. Must retreat again to reptile house. Fowl released. Sounds of unimaginable horror. Also some humming, probably by handler.

7:20 PM: A.R. appears at 3rd floor window, front, yells, “You know where you are? You’re in the jungle, baby!” but convinces not even himself.

8:59 PM: Time to call it a day. Goodnight, Axl.

Kill? After a day like this?


1 comments

username

Mike Ingram

04/03/08 at 04:42
#1

so, this is amazing:

http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/03/dr-pepper-bets.html

dr. pepper issues a challenge to axl rose to release chinese democracy this year.  if this happens, they’ll buy a DP for everyone.  lolz.

Most Recent Music Comments

isaac arms avatar

represent, Matt.

Posted by isaac arms to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/19/12.
{username}

Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.

Posted by Matthew Apy to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/19/12.
{username}

*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…

Posted by caparoon to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/18/12.
isaac arms avatar

Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet.  John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…

Posted by isaac arms to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/18/12.
isaac arms avatar

What?  Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?

Posted by isaac arms to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/18/12.
{username}

That article almost looks like something out of The Onion

Posted by Matthew Apy to the entry 'A Case of Mistaken Identity on 05/16/12.
{username}

Thanks! I’m looking forward to writing even more….

Posted by Sarah Boyer to the entry 'A Case of Mistaken Identity on 05/16/12.
Annie Weisner avatar

Yay!  Love this!  Welcome to the family!

Posted by Annie Weisner to the entry 'A Case of Mistaken Identity on 05/15/12.
isaac arms avatar

that last photo’s a doozie, Chris.  good work.

Posted by isaac arms to the entry 'Saturday looked good to us on 05/14/12.
{username}

that city center house show was one of those life-affirming things.

Posted by miles to the entry 'Changing from moment to moment on 05/12/12.

Most Popular Music Articles (60 days)

  1. 2012 Pygmalion Music Festival initial lineup featured_postPosted to Music by Smile Politely Editors on 05/08/12
  2. Elsinore, Common Loon impress diverse crowd featured_postPosted to Music by Chris D. Davies on 04/02/12
  3. Tonight in Urbana: Ursula K. LeGuin Posted to Music by Rob McColley on 04/26/12
  4. Cursive is so cool Posted to Music by isaac arms on 03/30/12
  5. Look closer: Withershins' Silver Cities featured_postPosted to Music by Ben Valocchi on 04/17/12
  6. The Overture: April 3–9 Posted to Music by Patrick Singer on 04/02/12
  7. Record Store Day 2012 in review featured_postPosted to Music by Smile Politely Editors on 04/23/12
  8. A breath of fresh air Posted to Music by Patrick Singer on 04/20/12
  9. BEST Music featured_postPosted to Music by Music Editors on 05/18/12
  10. Cymbals Eat Guitars: Malfunction-free (so far) Posted to Music by isaac arms on 03/26/12

Most Recent Comments

Rob McColley avatar

“Smile Politely sports writer announces candidacy for city government.”

By Rob McColley to the entry 'Local news headlines for Wednesday, May 23 on 05/23/12.
{username}

I also got to visit Big Grove Tavern during the soft open and definitely enjoyed the pork belly the most of all the dishes I sampled. The cheesy grits and the vinegary pickled vegetables were a perfect compliment to the rich pork belly.

By Suzanne Linder to the entry 'Big Grove Tavern set to open with farm-to-table focus on 05/23/12.
Michael Feltes avatar

The Alan Partridge lookalike on the right in the first small photo has nothing to condescend to anyone about. AH HA!

By Michael Feltes to the entry 'BEST Culture on 05/21/12.
{username}

Snell and the little Hitlers of the neighborhood association need to chill out. Legitimate businesses should have the freedom to exist without having to endure the slings and arrows of ignorant and misguided opposition.

By Jay Pea to the entry 'Savoy approves Triptych's permit on 05/20/12.
isaac arms avatar

represent, Matt.

By isaac arms to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/19/12.
{username}

Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.

By Matthew Apy to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/19/12.
{username}

Food trucks are the start-up, small businesses of the future for those unable to afford real estate. No surprise, that merchants who pay rent, utilities, and maintenance on a property would despise the traveling competition. Or developers who build more empty retail spaces would want to close…

By Local Yocal to the entry 'Champaign pulls rug from under food trucks on 05/19/12.
{username}

Not so much far-right Tea Party as a balanced, moderate viewpoint between letting businesses succeed and protecting society with reasonable regulations. In spite of what the city reps are saying, the interpretation of policy on this issue certainly has changed. Letting a business start up under one…

By Jay Pea to the entry 'Champaign pulls rug from under food trucks on 05/19/12.
Rob McColley avatar

I think it’s neat that SP has turned rightward, now espousing a Tea Party-style frustration with government regulations & taxes.

By Rob McColley to the entry 'Champaign pulls rug from under food trucks on 05/19/12.
Annie Weisner avatar

This makes me so sad.  (Happy to live in Urbana, though!)  Crave Truck has been a GREAT addition to the food choices in C-U, and it’d be a travesty to chase them away.  This town should be supporting small businesses.  I’m glad to hear that they’ll still…

By Annie Weisner to the entry 'Champaign pulls rug from under food trucks on 05/18/12.
{username}

*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…

By caparoon to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/18/12.
isaac arms avatar

Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet.  John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…

By isaac arms to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/18/12.
isaac arms avatar

What?  Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?

By isaac arms to the entry 'BEST Music on 05/18/12.
Mike Ingram avatar

This weekend will mark the first appearance of Kayla Brown’s Fire Doll Candle booth at the Market.  Check it:  http://www.facebook.com/firedollcandles

By Mike Ingram to the entry 'The Market Watch: May 19, 2012 on 05/18/12.
{username}

And without bloodshed. Sounds like the Savoy trustees aren’t as narrow-minded as some of their whiny pants constituents. Do you think quack Snell is already planning an asinine counterattack or is he still laying low after those “threats” against his person?

By Jim K to the entry 'Savoy approves Triptych's permit on 05/18/12.
isaac arms avatar

hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.

By isaac arms to the entry 'Summertime means big men and little pools on 05/18/12.
{username}

Okay, almost 24 hours later and I finally got Issac’s Summer joke. I’m an idiot.

By Mike Coulter to the entry 'Summertime means big men and little pools on 05/18/12.
isaac arms avatar

Excellent.  I am glad sometimes American dreams are encouraged, rather than stifled.

By isaac arms to the entry 'Savoy approves Triptych's permit on 05/18/12.
{username}

Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.

By Jay Pea to the entry 'Summertime means big men and little pools on 05/17/12.
isaac arms avatar

funny, as your summer begins, another Summer ends.

By isaac arms to the entry 'Summertime means big men and little pools on 05/17/12.

Most Popular Articles (14 days)

  1. Groce loses first staffer Posted to Sports by Rob McColley on 05/12/12
  2. BEST Arts featured_postPosted to Arts by Smile Politely Editors on 05/14/12
  3. BEST Culture featured_postPosted to Culture by Smile Politely Editors on 05/15/12
  4. BEST Music featured_postPosted to Music by Music Editors on 05/18/12
  5. BEST Food & Drink featured_postPosted to Food & Drink by Smile Politely Editors on 05/16/12
  6. Champaign pulls rug from under food trucks Posted to Food & Drink by Joel Gillespie on 05/18/12
  7. BEST Sports featured_postPosted to Sports by Smile Politely Editors on 05/17/12
  8. A different kind of polo featured_postPosted to Sports by Noah Roberts on 05/10/12
  9. Hank III’s outlaw country hits Canopy featured_postPosted to Music by Chris D. Davies on 05/10/12
  10. Changing from moment to moment Posted to Music by Patrick Singer on 05/11/12

Log In



Auto-login on future visits

Forgot your password?