Category > Moëtry in the Potion
As the sun sets over Memorial Stadium, two dozen carnies are wrapping up a day-long set strike. On the muddy, ripped up fields at Oak & Kirby, a massive aluminum erector set folds neatly into 18-wheeler sized pieces. Last Thursday, this huge piece of temporary architecture hosted the most impressive noise nuisance in the history of Champaign-Urbana. Here's what it looked like up close. Those giant speakers point due east. The sound traveled well. Did anyone complain? Urbana Assistant Chief …
In a word "felching." In 300 words, a proposed policy to supplant the Transportation Security Administration ("TSA-holes") with a regimen requiring air travelers to kiss the naked genitals of one man and one woman, thereby gaining clearance to board a plane. In 77,000 words: God, No! Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other Magical Tales (Simon & Schuster). Late in capitalizing on the hottest publishing subject of the naughties, Jillette skips biblical analysis (almost) completely, and launches straight …
My two previous columns addressed the issues of The Car versus The Bicyclist, and The Driver versus The State. I've already explained that we don't care about victims of distracted driving because we don't want the State's Attorney to jail us. The Combs-Maul Affair, and especially the response from The People, revives a great old debate: How far do we want government to go in "protecting" us?
It's a great time to be furious with our local legal system. We're seeing a lot of repeat offenders, and repeat offenses, in Champaign County. Drug-addled ex-schoolteacher Mark Ohrnstein (pictured) makes the news like clockwork. Every two years he's prosecuted for the same crimes. The Mike Sola perp, Kiwane Carrington's associate Jeshuan Manning-Carter (and his mother) — and a seemingly endless parade of perps "well known to the police" for their perpetual erosion of east Urbana — incite regular Willie …
Cindy Combs died. David Combs survived, despite critical injuries. Errol Maul drove straight into them. These are facts you'll know well if you read Smile Politely regularly. You might have strong opinions about The Combs-Maul Affair. But do you really care? No, you don't. If you really cared, your outrage would take on an activist dimension. You're still sitting there, reading.
Rashard Mendenhall needed a mulligan to explain his discomfort. It's not that he likes Osama bin Laden. But he knew, when he saw crowds chanting USA! USA!, that something was amiss. Chanting crowds express no big ideas. Some don't know why they're chanting. They lack the sophistication to explain their visceral impulses.The same may be true of those repulsed by wild-eyed nationalism. I was uneasy, too. But I know the reason.
Attendance dwindled at Crystal Lake Pool. That's my perception. There were so few visible patrons the last few times I jogged past, I wouldn't have known it closed, but for the missing water. A few years have passed, and the Urbana Park District now wants you to vote for even more taxes, to pay for a new aquatic center. This tax would augment, not supplant, the tax you approved in 2009 — also for the park district. An irresponsible reliance …
An ultra-irritating sales prick knocked on our door at least three times Tuesday. I was working in the basement the first time, and the den the second. Each time I interrupted my activities only to see the prick departing by the time I got to the door. Persistent fucker, but not patient. He's the latest tool of AT&T's annual up-sell ritual, working on commission.
Jerommie Smith spent a decade at the Champaign County Sheriff's Department, serving on the SWAT team. If he's elected to head the office, his duties won't be so exciting. Instead of hostage crises, he's focused on solvency. For one thing, he wants to change the way summonses are served — to reduce man hours, mileage and gas costs. Jerommie says the current scheme sees process servers drive into and out of Urbana every day, which means an hour's worth of …
Charles Cribbs faces justice at 1:30 p.m. this afternoon in Courtroom L* of the Champaign County Courthouse. But what will justice look like? It depends. What do you want it to look like? You are, after all, the People. People v. Cribbs will likely go quietly unless you give your employees some instructions. Your employees are Julia Rietz and her staff in the Champaign County State's Attorney's office. You'll remember Rietz from various tirades here at Smile Politely. SP's loyal …
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Thanks for that, Louis CK.
Your call to stay pissed is precisely why global warming fanatics will fail. Emotion has no place in hard science. The problem with the issue of global warming is that is has been pumped full of emotion and politics, and the science is becoming a by-product. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204301404577171531838421366.html?KEYWORDS=global+warming
Clearly the Postal Officials in favor of this cannot make an economic argument, as this saves the post office $0. What is their rationale?
Earlier today I received this response from the President’s office (via e-mail) - Dear Jason: Thank you for taking the time to write and share your thoughts. I deeply regret the embarrassment that the anonymous email incident has brought to our great University, and the personal hardship…
This posting expresses frustration—where is the investigative reporting about the current situation at the university? There are news reports, but basically no investigation? Why? None of the potential news outlets seem to be digging, unless doing so in the quiet of the night—not CU Access, the DI,…
Thank you Childrss for the correction. I actually only know a very small bit about Miscanthus specifically (and not much, obviously). My support for cellulosic has more to do with all the various upsides. The stalks and husks of feed corn, for instance, could provide a secondary…
More on Miscanthus can be found at http://miscanthus.illinois.edu Depending on market demand, miscanthus CAN impact food costs if it becomes more profitable to grow Miscanthus on land rather than foodstuff crops. While Jason didn’t explicitly state it (so I don’t want to imply that he was wrong)—it…
“Doing so would leave the entire university community without a way to send mail.” Ever heard of a mailbox? I can tell you where some are. “The Green Street office is always busy ...” Wrong. In fact, back in the day, I would go there during the…
I still have a very strong belief in bio-fuels as a sensible alternative, so long as it’s done sensibly. The one that makes the most sense, in my opinion, is producing ethanol from cellulose instead of grain. It’s essentially turning a waste product into a usable fuel…
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best for you <a >chanel bags 2011</a> for promotion code
Nope. It’s the back (east) side of Urbana Tire Company at 202 S. Vine. How much is a hug and kiss worth? Do I have to take them all at once or can I break it up?
FACT: Silverfish feed only on carbohydrates, such as starches and sugars. They will not consume proteins or fats (the main materials from which human beings are constructed). THUS: That was not actually a human waiter we were conversing with, but rather a lifelike simulacrum created from semi-digested Fruit Loops.
nice fishnets you’ve got there, dan!
is that illini auto on main?
The geniuses at the News-Gazette site have it all figured out. This happened because we don’t have the Chief!
Pamela - Are the roasteries in Seattle as clean as CSR? It always disturbs me a little that it is so clean in there.
Now you will be able to munch on pizza and shrimp cocktails in downtown Urbana (whilst a DJ spins?) after your dissolution of marriage http://www.news-gazette.com/news/business/features/its-your-business/2012-02-05/its-your-business-new-pizza-place-downtown-urban Is this a franchise of a Reno pizza joint, or just a coincidence of name? http://www.blackrockpizza.com
Signs someone is “fishing” for a factual anchor: 1. Starts call to radio with: “I’ve been an Illini fan for (XX) years” or “I’m a diehard fan,” as if somehow that unverifiable claim will justify the 5 minutes of B.S. that follows. 2. Makes reference to KenPom…
That’s what she said.
Black dog and Siam terrace is where I always go after my divorces.
Love CSR. Apart from making my way through the regular roasts in 1/2 pound increments, I also like to pick up some of the little sample packets of the flavored stuff for when the lady and I feel like getting crazy. Sticky Bun is pretty nice.
If you happen to be getting a divorce, or fighting a DUI prosecution, downtown Urbana is a great place to eat.
HUUUUUUGE fan of their Black Velvet roast…It makes up about 75% of my coffee intake. LOL CSR is definitely one of those Champaign institutions that I brag about to people not from here. :-)
We like CSR too! We french press at home and I leave the lid off while it steeps—letting the ground beans bloom. Then, like in your tasting, I scoop off the top layer before pressing. We really need to invest in a burr grinder though, as I…
Confidential? In this state? Hahahahahahahhahahaha
just confirmed: there will be white russians served. the art abides.
big lebowski at the art. mark it, dude.
There’s a great video promo out for “Company” too: http://vimeo.com/36077847
Wow, His Majesty took the time to answer your polite plea. It’s been a while since I spoke fluent arrogance, but allow this attempt at a translation: “I deeply regret the embarrassment…” = I wish we hadn’t got caught and it wasn’t a big deal really. “...and…
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Wow, His Majesty took the time to answer your polite plea. It’s been a while since I spoke fluent arrogance, but allow this attempt at a translation: “I deeply regret the embarrassment…” = I wish we hadn’t got caught and it wasn’t a big deal really. “...and…