of course you guys had a tough time socially.  you’re both computer science nerds.
 
the product of that introspective unease was some of the edgiest, most vital noise of an era.  (and it made billy corgan a lot of money.)
i say throw Child One at the public schools. i’m guessing he’ll be a lot different from his parents, because that’s usually how it works.  but whoever he turns out to be, he’ll be operating in a society of ex-public schools kids.  he might as well get to know them.  it won’t always be easy, but that’s what happens when you leave the womb.
if you want to elevate the level of scholarship in the public schools, you can start by injecting it with one clever 5 year-old.
 
heather teaches kindergarten in The Unit, you know.

We homeschooled our kids for the first few years, and we were very trepidatious about the public school system.  Our kids have thrived in it, and I realized that I was committing the number one mistake of parenting: putting my own “stuff” on my kids.  I was geeky/awkward/outcast/picked-on.  But my kids aren’t, and it would have been wrong to to give them the chance to be who they are among their peers.  What’s more, we have had so many great conversations with them because they’re exposed to all those things you’re worried about, and that I was worried about too.  
There’s no doubt the school system has problems, but so does the world.  In the end it’s about being there and helping them find their place and learn to trust themselves and stick to their values while learning from and co-creating with others.  At least, that’s my take :)
 

yep.  they can’t all talk at once.  and many of them have never been told about that. you can say that kindergarten is front lines of the war on individuality.  but i went through it, and i came out all egomaniacal.
 
i never liked the idea of trying to get little boys to sit still.  it seems unnatural.  maybe that’s the next step in elementary ed—learning while jumping in place.  or maybe on a treadmill, or stationary bicycle.
 
too, i’ve found it’s easier to read with white noise and/or non-lyrical new age music in the background.  
 
finally, i hear there are pharmaceuticals which make it really easy to sit still and pay attention.  i wonder how many kids in private schools aren’t taking them.

(that was in response to #4)

In elementary school, the choice of teacher is much more critical to a particular kid than the choice of school.  If the hallway is filled with quiet, uniformed children politely whispering to each other, but the classroom teacher doesn’t connect with your particular child, the child will have a bad year.

On the other hand, if there are riots going on in the hallway, but the teacher is able to engage your child and keep the noise out, they will have a good year.

So, I would suggest visiting classrooms and paying attention not to whether the class is quiet or loud or busy, but whether the kids seem engaged, also, whether that particular teacher might inspire your particular child.

And, as a public school parent, my humble belief is that everyone should, by default, give the public school system a chance, and only switch out if there are problems. All of our kids have had reasonably good experiences with Unit 4, but we did put one of our kids in private school for two years because of her particular needs.

Like Clint, we homeschooled. It was great.
After 5 years, we hung it up and the kids are in school. While I don’t love everything about school, both kids have really blossomed. Be involved, agitate, make them go, “Oh, god, here come G’s parents again…”