Here’s to you, Christopher Hitchens
I’ll always remember his response—the then-interim head of the school of journalism at Southern Illinois University, and all around good guy, Bill Freivogel—when I said I had debated the invasion of Iraq with Christopher Hitchens while in Washington D.C. over the summer.
He gave me a smile that was equal parts trusting and skeptical and said, “Hitchens? But he’s a pretty smart guy isn’t he?”
It was not unlike trying to tell a buddy at work that you had flirted the night before with Mila Kunis, when you really had.
However, Christopher was even more powerfully smart then Mila is hot. He was one of our hippest, sharpest, wittiest writers and provocateurs—who challenged ignorance and conventional thinking through prolifically produced columns, essays and books—and it is damn sad to write that he died on Thursday after living for nearly two years with cancer.
I ran into the good man it was in 2007, well before he was diagnosed with a fatally corrupt esophagus. And, I write, “ran into,” as if I was talking Trotsky at a Vanity Fair party in Dupont Circle, when actually I knew Hitchens was appearing on an outdoor broadcast of Hardball on MSNBC. I very deliberately put myself outside of the plaza, between Union Station and the Capitol, in hopes of chewing the fat with the heavy drinking, and heavier thinking, man of modern legend.
Trust me, I would have rather our meeting had taken place at the Vanity Fair party. Within the first five minutes of the show, I had already weirded out Chris Matthews with my Jew fro/Latin Roger Daltrey hair (there were only three people in all of D.C. at the time who had long hair, and the other two screamed at their shadows outside the World Bank and Quizno’s, respectively.) I then got into an argument with the tanning bed-rugged leader of the nation’s capitol’s premier atheist meet-up group, who was of course there to cheerlead for the author of God Is Not Great.
So, do you believe in God, he asks me.
I don’t pretend to know if there is or isn’t a god. So, I suppose I’m agnostic.
Are you agnostic about unicorns?
I’m not agnostic about assholes.
I was also getting antsy, because Hitchens’ opponent in this debate of sorts, Rev. Al Sharpton, was already set up and ready to go, looking dapper and self-important. Hopefully, Hitch hadn’t remembered that he had something cooler to do.

Nope, there he was—red faced and sticky wet with sweat in the 90-degree afternoon. He had a cooler than thou, detached air about him that would make most hipsters look like needy, vulnerable puppies. And within 90 seconds of taking his seat, he began to deftly unpack his matter-of-fact explanation to Rev. Sharpton and everyone else why he believed it was imperative that we invaded Iraq, and why it is foolish to believe in God.
I started trying to say snarky comments to everyone during commercial breaks since, apparently, I’m needy for attention.
Thanks guys. Your exchange of original ideas has really made it worthwhile standing out here in the sun for an hour.
It paid off when Hitchens turned around, pretended to address the whole audience while looking only in the eyes of Johnny Longhair, and asked, in his leathered, debonair British accent, “Does anybody got a smoke?”
I smiled, inside and out, and mouthed, “I’m out.” He mumbled an amusing line of obscenity, and turned back around—a moment made even funnier when he later pulled out a pack of English cigs and showed he still had one left that he didn’t want to waste in a 60 second commercial brake.
I thought you needed a smoke earlier?
Yeah. Well . . .
When I went up to shake his hand after the show, like Chris Matthews an hour earlier, he sized me up and down. As opposed to Matthews, though, Hitch didn’t gawk at me like a fucker and walk away. He squeezed my hand, thanked me for coming out and casually started to talk about one of the last points he had made on the show. Before he was crowded by the other admirers who’d came out to see him, I convinced Hitchens to pop into the patio bar next door for a whiskey. I was just walking away and saying that I’d get us a couple drinks ordered when I heard:
Hey, Hitch, we’re with the Washington Atheist (something or rather). Want to go next door and have a drink with us?
Way to not reinforce stereotypes, fucking rude-ass atheist thugs. Jesus.
By the time I turned around from the bar, with a Johnny Walker black label, neat, club soda on the side, and a double Maker’s, Hitch was at a large table surrounded by big smiles that were churning out non-stop compliments, along with praise for godlessness. I pulled up my own chair, handed him his drink, and asked him how he could reconcile defense of the invasion of Iraq in the name of fighting terrorism, when presence of a foreign occupier fuels insurgency.
Thus began a 20-minute exchange about what the war on terror means. The unified look of annoyance on the faces of the atheist meet-up folks provided only superficial pleasure in comparison to experiencing one of my favorite rebels take time from his busy day to articulate why I was wrong. The conversation is more than what space will allow for here—though what sticks with me most is simply that he seemingly lost all interest in his “groupies” the second I offered a sincere and decent challenge to his ideas. I told him I hadn’t been to the Middle East, let alone Kurdistan, and that I needed him to explain to me what I wasn’t getting about the pro-invasion doctrine.
And I believe it’s because he celebrated ideas, and the belief that you fire-test ideas to find out what’s true, that he found interest in engaging with some one much younger and less experienced than he.
It’s for those same reasons that I celebrate him.
17 comments
There’s a tear in my beer because I never got to buy Hitch a drink.
On the bright side, I did manage to buy Sam Harris a beer with a picture of the devil on the label.
Vive Hitch! Vive la Raison!
Pretty interesting that Hitchens died the same day the War on Iraq drew to a close.
I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything, just like everything else.
Local Yocal
Since I was erroneously compared to Hitchens, I feel an obligation to lay some flowers here too. My overly-enthusiastic concern for officer and citizen safety is rooted in the belief of a merciful Creator. Hitchens’ profound compassion had no such foundation. And in absolutely no way am I near the extraordinary intellect Hitchens possessed. I’m playing middle school-intramural ball compared to his professionalism. The progressive left felt betrayed by Hitchens throwing his lot with the Dark Side that foisted this ineffective, retaliatory war on the planet. Perhaps Hitchens’ allegiance to an idea he believed in outweighed whether the idea actually works. I’m confident the merciful Creator has a full understanding of Hitchens’ intent. Hitchens’ contributions were great and may he rest in peace.
Oh Brother
This article is a great example of the effect of Hitchens’ marketing, and the dearth of actual ideas put forth by the man. We have our obligatory picture of him smoking with his shirt off. We have the mandatory story of his drinking. And a certain fan-boy perspective that can only be described as disturbing. You had a drink with Christopher Hitchens? *Thee* Christopher Hitchens? Wow! This seems almost as important as playing bingo with Betty White. Almost.
I for one hope this ridiculous fascination with Hitchens will now end. He’s supposed to be an intellectual, yet I struggle to name one major, orginal idea he put forth into the intellectual community. That women aren’t funny? That religion causes wars? That most economic problems can be explained by Marx?
Sorry, I’m still not buying it. More troubling, however, is the easy acceptance of Hitchens’ intellectual credentials without any serious analysis of said credentials. Again, this article is a great example. The author spends hundreds of words on fan-boy praise to only pull out when the conversations turns to Iraq, and actualy debatable position. Suddenly we don’t have any time for a summary of Hitchens’ disturbing and flat-out wrong position on this crucial issue of our time. Instead we get to hear that his “groupies” have their feathers ruffled because our “rebel” is choosing a drink over God bashing (for the time being).
Hitchens’ most famous debate was with Noam Chomsky, and a contrast with that man is probably appropriate here. When Chomsky dies, will we suffer through long descriptions of someone meeting him at a bar? Will we need to be exposed to Chomsky smoking a cigarette in his bathroom? I doubt it. The conversation will be, as it always is, about his ideas. About his work. His appearance, and his consumption patterns are irrelevant - as they should be.
But with Hitchens it’s all about the booze, the cigarettes, and the pseudo-intellectualism. It’s rarely, if ever, a discussion of his ideas because there are so few ideas to discuss. Yet Hitchens is considered the rebel because he smoked, he drank, he embraced misogyny, and he hated religion. About as rebellious, really, as shopping at Hot Topic instead of Abercrombie.
He was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a rebel and he wasn’t an intellectual. More in common with PT Barnum than Sartre.
Comment #5: The latest, best example of strongly-worded ad hominem attack losing all credibility because its author is too pussy to attach his name.
To the substance: Hitchens was not wrong about the Iraq War. He didn’t switch sides, or betray anybody.
He always believed in revoultion. He always sided with oppressed people, against dictators.
He spent a long time studying Saddam Hussein’s regime, up close, in Baghdad. He concluded the regime should be removed.
Lots of angry, mostly young people make themselves look foolish by protesting things they haven’t reserached and don’t understand.
By contrast, Hitchens spent decades researching and living among repressed peoples, often at great risk to his personal well-being. Spend 15 minutes composing a hateful tiade against him from the comfort of your own coffee shop. Twelves of us will read it.
Vladimir Lenin
“as if I was talking to Trotsky at a Vanity Fair party in Dupont Circle”
I broke out laughing at this part and had a difficult time finishing.
The decent parts of this piece are wrecked by the pretentious nonsense quoted above.
Oh Brother
Thanks to Rob McColley for making my point. Why was Hitchens right about Iraq? Because he lived there! Did I live there? Nope! I wrote my comment in a coffee shop, so what do I know?
I’d bet Hitchens also smoked a lot of cigarettes in Iraq, and drank a lot of bourbon. Probably in his bathroom with his shirt off. What else do we need to know?
Nine year war, thousands of Americans dead, hundreds of thousands of people dead, all in the name of dethroning one of the many dictators currently in power. Hitchens and his buddies, including Chalabi, assured us that Hussein was a huge threat with massive stockpiles of WMD, and minutes away from The Bomb. Turned out none of it was true. The reasons for invading Iraq were false.
But no matter. He hated Christians, and he smoked a lot. Oh, and he liked to swear. And drink - did anyone mention how he liked to get drunk, and didn’t care if you approved?
For a touch of truth:
http://humanities.psydeshow.org/political/chomsky-1.htm
Where did Hitchens write about WMD?
Regarding Comment #8:
In my original draft, the first line of the fifth paragraph included the phrase “talking Trotsky.” At the time of this comment, the post above incorrectly reads “talking to Trotsky,” which is a significantly different notion.
Given that, if you still think this piece is nonsense, just wait for my upcoming posts about dick jokes, Iggy Pop’s habits while in Germany and the show Night Court.
As for the other ball buster:
Hitchens is just one of many people whom I admire, and also disagree with on certain ideas. Most people who have any amount of curiosity will get bored surrounding themselves with, or reading books by, only those who share the same perspective.
I thought that was an obvious thing for most thinking folks.
In a community as pretentious and judgmental as D.C., I found my hangout with Hitch to be heartening, personally influential, and worth sharing in his passing.
If you find that “disturbing” may I suggest you avoid reading the news. I’m afraid you’ll likely shit your skinny jeans. - AEV
There’s certainly validation in the “talking to Trotsky” criticism and that was not Andrew’s fault. That was me—who sometimes has to edit quickly and post things while working my day job—so that all of you have things to read and argue about.
Q-Tips
“Most people who have any amount of curiosity will get bored surrounding themselves with, or reading books by, only those who share the same perspective.
I thought that was an obvious thing for most thinking folks.”
Except you wrote about the superficial aspects of the interaction. Reread, and you’ll see what I mean. I think that might have been what Vladimir Lenin was referring to. I do like the part about hipsters being needy, vulnerable puppies, as that would encompass at least half of the people who write and post here (especially in the music section).
Oh Brother
A cursory google search of “hitchens wmd” will bring up a long list of articles dealing with these claims. Moreover, a careful reading of the Chomsky/Hitchens debate linked above should show fairly conclusively that Mr. Hitchens was little more than a lightweight thinker who did a masterful job of fooling everyone into believing he was a brilliant rebel. His thinking is muddled, contradictory, and often bizarre and immature. I personally respected him as a journalist, but when he shifted gears and began the emphasis his intellectual credentials he lost me.
Actually, Alex Cockburn said it better than I:
http://www.counterpunch.org/2011/12/16/farewell-to-c-h/
Most people who have any amount of curiosity will get bored surrounding themselves with, or reading books by, only those who share the same perspective. <br style=“padding: 0px; margin: 0px;” >I thought that was an obvious thing for most thinking folks.
I have no idea where this is coming from. My criticism is with the tone of this piece, and it’s underlying assumption that Hitchens was somehow a leading intellectual. He wasn’t - just a master of marketing and a bloviator of contrarian opinions. Like Cockburn (linked above), I find the cult of Hitchens that has sprung up in the past few years to be mysterious, at best.
Rich Wentz
#14, you choose to not give your name, but it’s important that you note your unhappiness with Mr. Voris’ piece, and your belief that it’s underlying assumption that “Hitchens was somehow a leading intellectual.”
Clearly you are more educated than I, as I didn’t come away from this peice with that perspective. What I drew was Mr. Voris’ personal interactions with Mr. Hitchens gave life to the written works and persona of Hitchens. Well written, Andrew. Can’t wait for your Dick Joke expose, but not as much as your exposed joke dick.
- Rich Wentz
So how about a quote, Brah? Quote Hitchens saying something factually incorrect about WMD.
I don’t always read articles on war, but when I do, I prefer Christopher Hedges.
Further, Dennis Perrin’s obit makes the claim that you can backtrack through earlier articles at his website (hitchenszone) and find WMD bombast for yourself.
He did have an excellent facility with prose. Too bad he spent the last few years of his life using it as a cheerleader for death.
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Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.

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hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.