No Great Diners in C-U Will Help Contain Your Diet
First Sniff
I have recently tangled up with a new and freshly-minted obsession: weight loss. After years of making certain that my belt line increased annually with plenty of red meat, Jarling’s Custard Cup, and an excessive amount of mushroom sherry sauce from Original Pancake House, I have decided that this is the year to start reversing that trend. I am currently 5’7” and 200 pounds. That, according to most healthy weight-management sites, is about 40–60 pounds more than I should be, making me officially obese.
I am willing to accept this — for now.
But 2008 means more than marriage for me. It means a skinnier Sniffer.
The Easy Way?
Run. That’s the key, really. Combine that with lowering our caloric intake, and I should be able to take off the weight that I proudly gained since first grade. Or freshman year in college. Whatever. The point is that, in theory, it should be easy, right? I mean, that’s just two simple steps to a thinner frame and, more importantly, a healthier ticker. But, unfortunately, it isn’t quite so simple. After all, Ben and Jerry continually try to lure me in with flavors like Chubby Hubby. Steamed asparagus just doesn’t taste as good without a rich hollandaise. And television shows like Diner’s, Drive-Ins and Dives show me all the places around America where I could go to stuff my face with some of the most unhealthy and delicious diner food in the world.
Guy Fieri
I used to really despise this Food Network reality show winner. Now I am starting to develop a non-sexual man crush on him. It’s definitely not the bleach-blond spiky hair or the shades worn turned around on his head. His appearances on T.G.I. Fridays commercials are a little suspect, and his goatee reminds me of that dude who spit on me at the county fair, but damnit if I’m not excited for a new season of this program. There’s just something about him. I can’t quite put a finger on it.
I even went online to check out his homepage about the show, and the first thing I saw, aside from his mug with a big old smile on his face, is a post that states: “Tell Guy Where To Go”. So, I started thinking: where should I tell Guy to go in Champaign-Urbana?
The Harsh Truth
We don’t have a diner that qualifies for this program. It’s sad, but true. Ever since the The Elite Diner, Champaign and Urbana failed in providing it’s citizens with a truly unique and wonderful diner-type restaurant that serves homemade recipes with really good products. Since I’ve been cognizant, which I count as the summer my parents made me participate in Hands Across America, I can’t remember ever eating in a diner joint that really made me want to take my out-of-town friends to breakfast there on a Saturday morning.
Our Options
The most obvious choice would be Merry Ann’s Diner. Buzz readers awarded it like, 5 different awards in their “Best Of” issue, and I can understand why. It’s cheap, easy and basic. I have many times and the Diner Stack is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. But, I can’t ever remember thinking to myself that I was eating anything more than a generic recipe developed with much thought. I generally ate it because I was hammered. Granted, it’s hard to argue with the Diner Stack when you are three sheets to the wind. I like the motif, and I love that it’s 24/7, but it still doesn’t have the originality to qualify as a really unique joint that Fieri would show up to.
Taffies isn’t even worth bringing up. Junior’s Burger’s are pretty good, but, that’s about all they serve — nothing with any flare aside from custard that takes a trunk spot to Jarling’s. Big Mouth’s is good too, but nothing more than a rip off of Wiener Circle in Lincoln Park and not open long enough to qualify as anything more than an upstart. Jimmy John’s, while local, no longer counts due to the massive nature of their corporation.
In fact, there are only two places that I can safely recommend that could, in fact, make the cut: Seaboat and Lil’ Porgy’s. Both places are hole-in-the-wall type joints, with a unique smell that permeates the air as you drive by. Both have original recipes, and pride themselves on staying consistent.
Even still, I don’t think they are places worthy of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. And I love both Seaboat and Porgy’s.
Good for me. Bad for you.
It just so happens that I am willing to accept this right now, as well. After all, I have 40 pounds to take off, and I wouldn’t be able to do it with diners of any worth. And despite the fact that there are a handful of terrific restaurants in town, I know myself well enough to be able to accurately determine the frequency in which I would patronize them over a good, fantastic diner. Oh, what I wouldn’t do for a traditional southern/creole diner or a local burger joint that really and truly knew how to put some love into their patties. I would do more than I am allowed on this new “get-fit” program, that’s for sure.
Final Whiff
Why is it so hard for someone to open a diner in this town with a great burger? There are only two places, both restaurants, that hold the honor of being a “great place to get a burger:” 1) Crane Alley and 2) Farren’s. Aside from that, nothing else is really worth mentioning.
So, what about you all? Do you have a burger recipe that you’d be willing to share? If so, we want to know what it is. Email me — if it’s the jam like you say it is — and we’ll publish the recipe right here.
15 comments
Dave
Where exactly was the Elite diner? I remember going there YEARS ago but I just can’t picture where it was.
Also, my Mom has a recipe for veggie burgers and one of the ingredients is peanutbutter. MMMM. I’ll find that recipe this weekend and send it over.
djward
From http://saito56.blogster.com/stuff:
“The Elite Diner is a 2 section 38’ x 17’ Mountain View Diner (#499) built in 1956 in Signac New Jersey.
Robert Dye located the diner to 317 South Neil Street and Springfield Avenue in Champaign, Illinois, where it became known as the Chuck Wagon Restaurant for twenty years.
In 1976, the Chuck Wagon closed its doors, and the diner was moved to Villa Grove, Illinois, where it became a donut shop.
In 1983, the donut shop closed and the diner was moved to 210 East Elm Street in Urbana, Illinois and became the Elite Diner and served the people of Champaign-Urbana for the next nineteen years.”
The Man tore down the Elite (at the northwest corner of Elm and Vine in Urbana) to make way for a friggin parking lot for the new county courthouse. ‘Twas a sad, sad day. I could never comprehend (and still can’t) how the Urbana big wigs could get rid of the Elite. It just didn’t make any sense…it was a community landmark. I had only lived in town 3 or 4 years at the time it closed down, and even I recognized the history and community pride behind it.
More info:
[url=“http://www.btwmagazine.com/features/oldstuff/elite/index.html”]
www.btwmagazine.com/features/oldstuff/elite[/url]
Judith Siess
Isn’t Denny’s still there? They have the best breakfast (now that Aunt Sonya’s) is gone? or did it go the way of other restaurants not patronized enough?
MF
Skully’s Chicken and Fish in Urbana is really good and fits into the mold of the types of places you are looking for (i.e. local, hole in the wall, friendly people). Even if it doesn’t qualify for Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, it is still worth checking out!
Skully’s! Ugh. I knew I was missing something. I like Skully’s and definitely give them major props. Still though, I think we’re void of a really unique place in C-U.
Good call.
As for the Elite - click the link on the words The Elite Diner in the article! Great little film, featuring my old boss at Piccadilly speaking highly derogatory things about The Man in Urbana. Nice…
rgriscom
glad to see you are back to your controversial opinions, seth! too bad you don’t have an upcoming smoking ban to talk about….
man, it’s hard to imagine a world where i could be out walking and see seth fein running down the street…something just doesn’t seem right about it. maybe you should just take up drums again! :)?
liz jackson
dude if you need running tips i’m your lady. i can talk about running all day, it is the only thing that gives me life meaning. well, that and drinking heavily. :)
Ryan D. Neaveill
I don’t really care about this now because I have given up eating meat. But when I was a carnivore, I would have also asked, “why aren’t there any restaurants where one can order fried chicken?” I’m not talking about KFC fast-food crap, but good-old home-made fried chicken. Apple Dumpling is about the only place I can think of, but I’m not going to drive all the way from the west side of Champaign to the far east side of Urbana for fried chicken.
Cassie
Glad to see you writing again. I’ve also taken up running again after a winter hiatus. Liz, I could use a running tip… HOW DO YOU MAKE IT NOT SUCK?
liz jackson
i’ve actually thought about writing some columns with running tips. cassie, it depends on what exactly sucks about it for you.
even after fixing everything specific that might be wrong with running there is a general discomfort because it’s physically challenging. there’s ways to mix things up, like listening to fast music or your favorite music or going to pleasant environments…but i guess the thing to keep in mind is that the general suckiness WILL decrease with time. you might try a training schedule that will make you a better runner more quickly, that will make it suck less. you can running schedules at runner’s world, training links. cross-training will make you a better runner too. but basically until you get pretty good at it, which takes at least a few months, it’s just going to suck, so there’s a sense in which patience and faith are needed.
josh lucas
from my family to all of you. im sorry we could not get the elite open again. it sat in my dads side yard for like 2 years. and had no luck. so he sold it to a man in detroit.
and seth, i do agree. merry anns ugh…. after cooking diner stacks or “hobo killers” for a year i cant even think about the place.
and ill email you my burger recipe.
j
Mike Ingram
Seth, if I can drop 35 pounds, anyone can. I don’t like running as much as I used to, but I bought a bike and started going on long rides and loving it.
And I hate Guy, but love Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. It makes me want his job.
Sunglasses Gravy
I caught the tail end of Carmon’s as a breakfast joint. Best damned fried potatoes I’ve ever had. Seriously. Just the thought of them makes my mouth water. And the sausage and a grapefruit and the bar with the paper readers and all that. I was very upset when that place closed. Heartbreaker.
Craig Tepen
Wait, wait, wait . . . are you guys serious with this Merry Ann’s Diner bit? I LOVE that place. I grew up on a farm so greasy, homemade food brings back a memory of fondness. Maybe it’s an acquired taste, but I have to say that it’s the best breakfast food I’ve found in a diner/restaurant in a long while. Besides the food, it’s a nice place to eat. It may not be the cleanest or most luxurious, but it adds to its quaintness; there’s just something nice about not eating somewhere that you feel like a business meeting could take place. Aside from that, the people are nice. I also enjoy watching them make the food. It’s always interesting to watch someone cook as quickly as they do at Merry Ann’s. I would definitely (and have) recommend Merry Ann’s Diner to my friends!
Beth
Seth, check out sparkpeople.com. I lost 30 pounds last year using it, and I’m working on the next 15. It’s just tracking food and exercise, but you don’t have to do that. It helps, though, with overall health. Lots of tips and strategies, like drinking enough water, getting enough nutrients, etc. It’s easy to use and free.
I always lamented the lack of good diners in CU. I went to the Urbana Family Garden a few times. Merry Anns is sick, and really doesn’t offer anything.
I hear ya kno Guy Fieri thing. When I started watching DDD, I could only focus on what a douche he was. But damn that show makes me hungry! But, I went to a place in Chicago he recommended (the White Palace Grill on Roosevelt) and it wasn’t that great. So I’m not sure that all those DDDs are what they’re cracked up to be.
Bethcrest OUT!
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Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.
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hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.