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Why Is Christianity the Only Tacky Religion?

It’s that time of year again for holiday tackiness. It comes in a variety of forms, including (but not limited to) gaudy sweaters and neckties, rotating Christmas trees, dogs barking jingle bells and garish yard decorations as seen on Candlestick Lane in Urbana.

But Christmas is only one of the Christian holy days that has devolved into eye-popping commercialism. Easter also has its share of tackiness with its peeps, colored eggs and giant stuffed bunnies. However, Easter, still in the pastel phase, has yet to graduate to the ostentatious level of Christmas.

This disparity among Christian holy days suggests a possible explanation: Perhaps gaudiness is simply a natural occurrence in holiday evolution and Christmas is just further along than Easter. This theory, however, isn’t supported by the evidence. Easter is actually older than Christmas so, if this Theory of Tacky Holiday Evolution were correct, then Easter should supercede Christmas in obtrusive flashiness.

Plus, it doesn’t explain why tackiness has developed only in Christian holy days.

Now, I confess I am no scholar of world religions so perhaps other more enlightened people can shed some light on this. Why have Christian holy days become so tacky while the holy days of Judaism and Islam have not? Why do Christian holy days have strange, fictional characters such as the Easter Bunny while other religions do not? Why is there no Ramadan Rabbit? Or Hanukah Hippo?

Moses and Mohammed have nothing on Jesus when it comes to the gaudiness of their religions.

Is it simply because Christianity has blossomed in the superficial land of Western capitalism? Or is there something inherently tacky about Christianity itself? Or maybe it’s because Christianity is the religion of choice for the unrefined — the uneducated folks named Bubba who hang velvet Elvis paintings on their walls alongside their talking Big-Mouth Billy Bass.

There does seem to be, at least, an etymological connection. The third Sunday of Advent (the season that precedes Christmas) is called Gaudete Sunday. Gaudete is a Latin word meaning rejoice and is the same word that gave birth to the English word gaudy.

At some point, however, the fine line separating rejoicing and regurgitating was crossed. I’m not clear on when the line was crossed, but I am sure of where. It was right here in the good old U.S.A., land of the free and home of the nine-foot, illuminated plastic Santa.

The church and the empire are clearly married in this country. Sure, we have separation of church and state, but church and the business empire have gotten into bed together to produce some butt-ugly offspring that we’ll just call the whole Tacky Christmas Decoration Industry.

So my Jewish and Islamic brothers and sisters, I am sorry that there really isn’t separation of church and state in this country and that Christianity is the favored religion of capitalism. But be thankful. If all religions were equal here we’d have to look at tacky holiday decorations all year long.


15 comments

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JP

#1

I rarely get upset over stuff like this, but I find myself becoming very, very angry.  First of all, all of the garishness you speak of has NOTHING to do with Christianity, rather is a reflection of the decades long marketing campaign that has been waged in all forms of media to encourage people to forget what Christmas truly represents.  Secondly, it is easy for media to do this because our society has said that it is ok to bash, dilute, mock and deride Christianity.  It is society as a whole that has created the commercial mess that Christmas has become, not Christians themselves.  I’m interested to see what kind of comments you’ll get in response to this article.  I bet they would be very different if you were criticising another religion.

Lighten up - we’ve got too much negativity enough in the world.  This sort of crap only serves to further antagonize and divide.

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m

#2

Once again, I agree with JP, as I did last week in regards to the Salvation Army post. Mr. Neaveill’s posts have become nonsensical, negative, and ignorant rants with no basis in reality and nothing interesting or informative to offer the reader. It is one thing to present an intelligent, well-reasoned critique of an aspect of Christianiy, as numerous aspects certainly do warrant intense criticism. However, it is another thing the blame the American culture-as-a-whole’s treatment of Christmas on the “perhaps” inherently tacky nature of Christianity, the “religion of choice for the unrefined, uneducated folks named Bubba.” What a hateful, ignorant, and discriminatory message, especially coming from someone purporting to be a religious scholar and a liberal, progressive person. This type of snobbery and elitism is the essence of tackiness. I am distressed that Smile Politely is ok with this garbage.

Seth Fein avatar featured_post

Seth Fein

#3

I love Christmas lights. And I am a Christian; I guess — something or other like that.

But let’s not call Neaveill’s columns “nonsensical, negative and ignorant.” The expression of opinion is critical to, you know, writing an opinion column.

And while you might disagree with him, and maybe even feel a little overly sensitive towards a fellow brother in Christ dissecting some of the more timid elements of the religion, your name calling and judgmental words against him simply act as a rationale for his concerns. You are actually providing him with empirical evidence for his points about the pitfalls of faith in Christ Jesus! You know, sweet Baby Jesus — all swaddled up in rags and cloth with myrrh and frankenberry and whatnot!

God bless, Candlestick Lane. I wish I lived on that street. I go every year.

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rob mccolley

#4

yeah, giftsmas has nothing to do with yeshua of nazareth.  that’s plain.

pope julius ought not have moved the date to coincide with the winter solstice. that just confused everybody more. the pagan tradition of the evergreen tree, for example.  people think that’s associated with yeshua, now.

but then, various branches of christianity insist their adherents believe the miracles as well as the teachings.  that adds the element of magic. and giftsmas is mostly about magic.

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av

#5

Well…A few of us are a little defensive huh?  Made me laugh.

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JP

#6

AV - Would you laugh if a similar article had been written about another faith?  I’ve seen some pretty tacky Buddahs, but I would never use that fact to denegrate a religion.  Why is it ok to say such disrespectful things about Christianity, and why is it funny?
People can think and say anything they like, including those of us who believe that religion bashing of any kind is unacceptable.

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liz jackson

#7

hah! i loved this! what, i ask critics, is wrong with being tacky? soooo i guess you really hate christmas sweaters? well, that’s not our problem. for me personally, if i ever identified with christianity, the law of the land, indeed, it is when i’m singing about god and santa claus in “here’s comes santa claus.” i love the tackiness, and i appreciate the actually inquisitive nature of this, too. nobody should hate on a little harmless humor, nobody is saying that tackiness is related to ungodliness.

from my studies, i’d say it has a lot to do with the tie-in between protestantism, the popular brand here, and american free-market capitalist norms (i.e., somehow it is honest work to get people shop their brains out/to shop your brains out for worthless crap? we call these people professionals in our society? in other places this may be considered sinful, exploitative behavior).

the songs aren’t catholic, are they? when i hear that hanukkah song or IMAGINE there is some war on christmas from embittered non-christians, i just think, what a privilege it is to NOT be tied into all of the hideousness done in the name of baby christmas from the day after thanksgiving to the first day of the new year. haha! anyways, i LOVE the tackiness! this was simply fun, and i can think of a lot worse things to say, i don’t see anything hateful in pointing out that christians, for whatever reason (such as that they live in richer countries than pakistan??), happen to wear a lot more shirts with reindeer on them than muslims and jews do (oh, that reminds me, muslims don’t depict their major symbols, so that would be a major reason too). anyways, kudos!

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rob mccolley

#8

re: gaudiness & tackiness


i suspect the bazaars would be filled with figurines of the prophet if the sellers were not at risk of decapitation for hawking them.

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JP

#9

Rob - Ha!

Liz - Reindeer don’t have anything to do with religious Christmas (neither do snowmen!).  But…they sure do help dilute the true meaning of the holiday and make it palitable for those who “celebrate” the holiday for reasons other than the religious.

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liz jackson

#10

ugh. i do not think fear of decapitation is the cause…because i don’t think religious fanaticism is more common in Muslim “bazaars” than elsewhere. I think critical inquiries about the nature and essence of traditions are more commonplace in lots of contexts outside the U.S., judging by how sensitive people are about anything negative being said about some of them…a diversity of beliefs and practices exist side by side in most, uh, bazaars. just like how some christians (and non-christians) think lights and decor are important and some don’t.
i guess that was a funny joke, to say muslims are violent fanatics…on par with saying christians like tacky decorations…kind of, not really. i’m trying.

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jenny

#11

Oh, don’t worry.  I live in an Indian neighborhood and Ramadan fast-breaking buffets of excess and the blinky lights of Diwali, not to mention the clashy saris and gaudy gold are totally bringing it for the other teams. :)

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rob mccolley

#12

liz, religious fanaticism exists all over the place.  even in this thread.

but your well-constructed sociological model notwithstanding, theo van gogh does not likely get knifed by JP or M.

the C of E and the roman catholic church are not to be absolved for their complicity in the persecution of salman rushdie - but they didn’t issue the death sentence.  you know who did, right?

and if you think it’s weird to use the regionally appropriate term for an outdoor marketplace, there are a number of highly politically correct, agitating threads on SP alone that recommend themselves to your machinations.

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bb

#13

So yes. The author is entitled to his opinions/view of Christmas.  So is Bubba though. 

Everyone is entitled to their own perception of what any holiday means to them.  To athiests it may mean a big celebration of giving once a year to loved ones.  To Christians it may mean a celebration of Christ.  Some people may not acknowledge or celebrate it at all but do other holidays that Christians and athiests don’t. 

The fact remains that many people like Christmas and putting up lights and decorations.  They can be religious or not.  That’s the good thing about this country.  We have the freedom to do what we want and aren’t forced into any one person’s ideology/interpretation of what religion means to them personally.

So, dear author, though I don’t agree with you by any means and in my personal opinion is that you ideas are whack, I do recognize the fact that you are entitled to them… as other people are entitled to theirs.  I am smart enough to know that Bubba may not be right and that you may not be either.

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Sam Draper

#14

There are a number of people rebelling against this kind of ostentatious distraction from the real meaning of Christmas.

www.adventconspiracy.org

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Jonny walker

#15

I slit throat of one who hangs colored lights on fences.  Praise Santa!!! (PBUH)

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