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I Want the One I Can’t Have

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For Cardinals fans, the baseball offseason has long been summed up by this column’s title. While we can distract ourselves with Albert Pujols winning yet another silly award, St. Louis fans still collectively huddle under blankets, beg Mother Nature for July’s suffocating heat waves and curse Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt under their breath for not allowing the front office to spend millions upon millions of dollars to nab the sexiest players on this year’s market, regardless of whether it makes perfect sense. “Oh, for just one Sabathia, K-Rod or Manny this Christmas,” they cry. The perfect soundtrack to such moping is, of course, The Smiths.

HEAVEN KNOWS I’M MISERABLE NOW

That’s my reaction, at least, to the Cardinals’ middle-infield offensive woes in 2008. Our oft-played keystone combo of Cesar Izturis and Adam Kennedy combined to hit 37 extra-base hits in 819 plate appearances, which is, frankly, pathetic. Factoring in super-sub Aaron Miles doesn’t help matters greatly. For some context, the Cubs’ middle-infield core collected an extra-base hit in 7.0 per cent of its steps to the plate, versus just 4.6 per cent for the Redbirds. Now you can see why the Cardinals have tendered an offer to Felipe Lopez, who in two months in St. Louis hit well over his head. But by comparison to the rest of his competition from last year, Lopez’s .538 slugging percentage looks downright Ruthian.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME GET WHAT I WANT

So the Cardinals need to address their middle infield situation, which to me is the most pressing need this offseason as we can expect some offensive regression with the addition of a rookie in center (Colby Rasmus) and a likely step back from overachiever Ryan Ludwick. Up the middle, we can’t afford to not improve offensively. Miles and Brendan Ryan are already set to return along with Kennedy, who has requested a trade that will hopefully be fulfilled. The Cardinals should have enough payroll flexibility to dangle one significant contract into the free agent waters, but I’d split up that lump sum and spend it on two players. First, I’d nab (soon-to-be) 31-year-old Orlando Hudson to play second, offering a three-year contract. For three straight seasons, Hudson has out-performed his career .433 slugging percentage, and last season he notched an extra-base hit in 8.8 per cent of his plate appearances. His power numbers are a bit aided by playing his home games at Bank One Ballpark, but even if his production dips some he’s a valuable asset as he reaches base at a slightly above-average clip. The fact that he’s also an above-average defender is a plus, and will help to balance out my selection at short.

I’d pass on signing one former Redbirds shortstop, David Eckstein, for another, Edgar Renteria. While Rafael Furcal is also out there, he’s likely to command too many years and too much dough. Renteria should come considerably cheaper, so I’d offer him a one- or two-year deal and hope that he rebounds from a modest performance last season, which was complicated by a horrendous road split.

HAND IN GLOVE

Some folks will take umbrage with my selection of Renteria and wonder aloud whether he can still hack it at shortstop. Fair enough, but Renteria is supposedly working this offseason to become lighter on his feet. Overall, I feel the Cardinals’ rather pedestrian effort in the field last season will improve now that Rick Ankiel has another full season as an outfielder under his belt. The expected addition of capable center fielder Colby Rasmus scoots Ankiel over to left, where he’s probably better suited to play. That helps to shore up our outfield defense, which was relatively poor last season. We return Gold Glove defenders at first and behind the plate, and a strong defender at third. I’ll roll the dice with this defensive group.

I STARTED SOMETHING I COULDN’T FINISH

There’s some rumblings of a Cardinals offer to free-agent reliever Kerry Wood. Thanks, but no thanks. Closers are chronically overpaid, and injury-prone pitchers like Wood should be low on our list. (Or do we all need a recent history lesson? Spell it out with me: I-S-R-I-N-G-H-A-U-S-E-N.) Let’s continue to let Chris Perez learn on the job. If he should falter, then we have another live arm in Jason Motte to fall back on, plus Ryan Franklin, who can step in during a pinch.

Let’s please allow our relative depth in cheap, righthanded relievers to potentially pay dividends, and instead focus on improving the left side of our bullpen. Jeremy Affeldt is already off the board, signing with the Giants and setting the tone for lefties with a two-year, $8-million contract. We can expect Brian Fuentes to easily top that, which will take us out of the running for his services. The Cards are supposedly targeting former Cubs and Braves reliever Will Ohman and former Marlins reliever Arthur Rhodes, two veterans who can shut down lefthanded batters and will likely cost us less than Affeldt. While we’re looking at oldies, I’d add Brian Shouse, recently of the Brewers, to that list. Then I’d spruce it up a bit with the addition of Joe Beimel, who is hittable but has allowed just one home run over the past two seasons.

MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING

It appears as if we aren’t going to be a player — yet again — for a major addition to our rotation this offseason. Meanwhile, the team we’re trying to catch, the Cubs, isn’t about to stop spending money until it has purchased itself a World Series ticket. After inking Ryan Dempster to a $52-million contract, one that I think will haunt Chicago in the coming years, the Cubs’ pursuit of Jake Peavy seems less a priority and certainly far from a done deal. If they land both pitchers, I don’t see any wiggle room for the Cardinals front office, or its players, over the next season. They’ll all need to be nearly flawless if the Cards are going to return to postseason play in ’09.

As for Cubs fans, I’ll take pleasure this winter in reminding them, once again, “You just haven’t earned it yet, baby.”


Most Recent Sports Comments

Jason Brown avatar

@Dan - Wow. Unfortunately, I have to refrain from further comment due to a previous employment relationship. But with that brief context you might be able to imagine possible comments or responses I could have.

Dan Schreiber avatar

Oh, by the way, the “Champaign County YMCA” no longer exists. The official name is now the “Stephens Family YMCA” (the website has not been updated, but check out the latest program guide).  And no, it’s not just the name of the building. It’s the name of the organization.

{username}

Very inspired Photochops as well….

Jason Brown avatar

Props on the new YMCA dig. I think it’s a terrible spot for it, but then again, I’m not well-to-do and I’m not willing to drive 15 minutes at $4/gallon to exercise for an hour.

Mike Ingram avatar

http://motorcycle-intelligence.com/do-loud-pipes-save-lives/1119/ Are you a smoker, too?  I feel like I’m just getting recycled arguments.

Mike Ingram avatar

http://www.motorcyclecruiser.com/streetsurvival/dangerous_motorcycle_safety_myths/index.html “Myth 2: Loud Pipes Save Lives”

{username}

Yes, I also love the idea of the downtown!  However, the “turds” that ride Harley’s or any other motorcycle have the right to ride their motorcycles regardless of the “loudness” anywhere they want.  They are buying gas, hence they are contributing to the motor fuel tax that…

{username}

Yup, this was the year I realized there’s no way this is my last CU marathon, even though I’m gradumacating next week.Where else am I gonna get cheered on by 70+ year old heart-of-gold volunteers who smile at me so genuinely I could believe I’m their granddaughter?…

Mike Ingram avatar

I always have a good, but disappointed, laugh when marathon time creeps up and I start seeing posts on the WCIA Facebook page lamenting race day and how difficult it is to get around town that day.  One this year said, “can’t they just go run in…

SFJon avatar

Reminds me of Total Football (soccer) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Football

Most Recent Comments

{username}

I don’t know about Gerard and a random police sargeant. My (mild) outrage is based on this: “...he worked closely with Champaign City Clerk Marilyn Banks to make sure he was licensed properly as a transient food peddler, filling out the necessary paperwork and paying a $225…

Eric Bussell avatar

Local Yocal pretty much nails it here.  I suspect there will be merchants who oppose food trucks because they arguably don’t pay their fair share to locate their trucks in high traffic (high rent) areas.  The food trucks take away business from rent payers, park in city…

Mike Ingram avatar

Oh nice!  I’d totally vote for Matt Campbell!

Rob McColley avatar

“Smile Politely sports writer announces candidacy for city government.”

{username}

I also got to visit Big Grove Tavern during the soft open and definitely enjoyed the pork belly the most of all the dishes I sampled. The cheesy grits and the vinegary pickled vegetables were a perfect compliment to the rich pork belly.

Michael Feltes avatar

The Alan Partridge lookalike on the right in the first small photo has nothing to condescend to anyone about. AH HA!

{username}

Snell and the little Hitlers of the neighborhood association need to chill out. Legitimate businesses should have the freedom to exist without having to endure the slings and arrows of ignorant and misguided opposition.

isaac arms avatar

represent, Matt.

{username}

Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.

{username}

Food trucks are the start-up, small businesses of the future for those unable to afford real estate. No surprise, that merchants who pay rent, utilities, and maintenance on a property would despise the traveling competition. Or developers who build more empty retail spaces would want to close…

{username}

Not so much far-right Tea Party as a balanced, moderate viewpoint between letting businesses succeed and protecting society with reasonable regulations. In spite of what the city reps are saying, the interpretation of policy on this issue certainly has changed. Letting a business start up under one…

Rob McColley avatar

I think it’s neat that SP has turned rightward, now espousing a Tea Party-style frustration with government regulations & taxes.

Annie Weisner avatar

This makes me so sad.  (Happy to live in Urbana, though!)  Crave Truck has been a GREAT addition to the food choices in C-U, and it’d be a travesty to chase them away.  This town should be supporting small businesses.  I’m glad to hear that they’ll still…

{username}

*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…

isaac arms avatar

Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet.  John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…

isaac arms avatar

What?  Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?

Mike Ingram avatar

This weekend will mark the first appearance of Kayla Brown’s Fire Doll Candle booth at the Market.  Check it:  http://www.facebook.com/firedollcandles

{username}

And without bloodshed. Sounds like the Savoy trustees aren’t as narrow-minded as some of their whiny pants constituents. Do you think quack Snell is already planning an asinine counterattack or is he still laying low after those “threats” against his person?

isaac arms avatar

hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.

{username}

Okay, almost 24 hours later and I finally got Issac’s Summer joke. I’m an idiot.

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